


now and then you miss it (sounds make you cry)

by ashleighhayleau



Series: never been a hero [2]
Category: Archie Comics & Related Fandoms, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: ... well mostly, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone is soft if I'm being honest, F/M, Friendship Mending, Romantic Friendship, Secret Crush, Soft!Chuck, the Josie & Chuck & Reggie triangle is hinted again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 09:43:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14133429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleighhayleau/pseuds/ashleighhayleau
Summary: Chuck wondered the around the halls of Riverdale High a hollow shell of his former self, if anyone noticed they didn’t say anything. Josie would check on him after her band practice some days, she’d let him talk or cry if he needed to, but mostly he’d just draw. She was worried about him, Chuck insisted that he was fine and that she shouldn’t worry about him, but the bags under his eyes told her otherwise. Reminding Chuck that she was there for him was the only thing she could do, so she’d watch him draw and keep conversation topics light. Chuck was thankful that she didn’t push, he feared if he started talking that would lead to crying, and he’d cried enough lately to last a lifetime.....Josie comforts Chuck after his very public argument with his father and Chuck and Reggie have a heart to heart.





	now and then you miss it (sounds make you cry)

**Author's Note:**

> i think this is one of the better things that i've written, but if it weren't for my friends i probably would've abandon it so shoutout to them. comments would be appreciated, please let me know what you think.

Things at home after the fight between his parents, and the subsequent fight between him and his father, had been rocky. Dinners were awkward and quiet, only consisting of the occasional small talk and Chuck pushing his food around his plate. His nights were filled with tossing and turning, he worried about if things would ever go back to normal, or at least some version of normal. Sometimes he would just cry, thinking about how the life he’d always known just exploded right before his eyes.

Chuck had seen his mother once since she stormed out of the house that night a month ago. She was leaving with two suitcases full of her things. When she saw him, she didn’t know what to say. For a moment they just looked at each other, not saying a word or even breathing, then tears began to roll down her cheeks. She’d dropped her bags and slowly approached him, she still hadn’t said anything, she raised her hand with a bit of apprehension and dropped it. Finally, she lightly placed her hand on his face and caressed his cheek, sweeping her thumb over it. He opened his mouth but before he could say anything, she hugged him tightly and whispered, _‘I’m sorry’_ , before wordlessly picking up her suitcase and leaving.

Chuck wondered the around the halls of Riverdale High a hollow shell of his former self, if anyone noticed they didn’t say anything. Josie would check on him after her band practice some days, she’d let him talk or cry if he needed to, but mostly he’d just draw. She was worried about him, Chuck insisted that he was fine and that she shouldn’t worry about him, but the bags under his eyes told her otherwise. Reminding Chuck that she was there for him was the only thing she could do, so she’d watch him draw and keep conversation topics light. Chuck was thankful that she didn’t push, he feared if he started talking that would lead to crying, and he’d cried enough lately to last a lifetime.

“Josie,” Chuck said quietly, “thank you. You know,” He paused and stilled his pencil. “for checking up on me.”

“You’re my friend, and you shouldn’t have to go through this alone.” She said, a reassuring smile on her lips.

For a moment he considered telling her about the run in that he had with his mother a couple days prior, he didn’t say anything though, he gave her small smile and continued drawing. He can tell that she knows something happened and she’s just waiting for him to tell her. He knows that Josie would listen and understand if he did tell her, but he knows she understands even if he doesn’t.

A few weeks ago, if you told Chuck that he’d divulge his feelings to Josie McCoy in a diner at 2AM and that she’d comfort him, he would have thought you were insane. Sure, they had been somewhat friends before, they’d wave at each other in the halls and engaging in casual conversations in the lounge at school, but they weren’t close. But now she was his like his lifeline in case he started to veer too far into his own head. He hoped that she would be the one permanent fixture in his life.

 _Parental dysfunction has an odd way of bringing people closer_ , he thinks.

\----¬  
Chuck tried to avoid his father as much as he could, but that was almost impossible when he was at home, at school, and at practice. He never realized how present his father was until he tried to avoid him.

“Chuck.” His father calls down the hall, which only prompts chuck to walk faster. “Charles Taylor Lyndon Clayton, I’m talking to you.” He calls again, a familiar authority in his tone.

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t want to know what his father has to say, his father has had the past month to speak to him. He just hasn’t.

Just as he reaches the cafeteria his father grabs his arm and turns him around. Chuck tries to yank his arm away and keep walking, but his grip is tight.

“Chuc-” he starts, but Chuck cuts him off before he can say anything else.

“What?” Chuck says, voice rising in anger. “What do you want, dad? Huh? You haven’t talked to me in a month so what do you want?” He could feel the eyes of his peers turning to look at him but didn’t care.

“Son, calm down,” his father’s eyes were wide with shock, but voice was gentle. “Just come out into the hallway with me so-”

“Why so everyone doesn’t hear what’s going on? So, everyone’s eyes aren’t on us?” He gestured to the people staring at the two of them as they stood in doorway. “It’s a small town, dad, people are gonna hear about it.” He shoved past his father as he angrily stormed out of the room, suddenly feeling the urge to be anywhere but there.

Josie quickly got up from where she sat and ran after Chuck. Everyone watched in confusion as they took in the scene that unfolded in front of them because since when did Josie worry or care about Chuck? They’d never really been friends, they were barely acquaintances, but she’d chased after him? The rumor mill was already at work coming up with an explanation.

 

Josie finds him on the bleachers with his head in his hands. He doesn’t notice her approaching, even as her heels click against the metal of the bleachers. The closer she gets to him, the more unsure she starts to feel. What could she say? _I’m sorry that your family issues are being speculated by the entire student body._

“Chuck,” Josie says softly as she gently places her hand on his shoulder. He looks up slowly, tears trailing down his cheeks, and smiles weakly. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.” Chuck pauses and looks away for moment before saying, “Yes.” She doesn’t say anything as she sits and waits for him to speak.

Chuck doesn’t say anything, for a few minutes they sit in silence, staring at the empty football field.

Chuck takes a breath before he speaks. “Things with my dad aren’t the best right now.” He pauses and looks down at his hands. “We don’t talk, it’s like we’re strangers that happen to be living in the same house. At dinner, he makes small talk, and when the conversation starters run out, we just stare at each other and push our food around until it gets cold or I ask to be excused. He’s barely talked to me in weeks, but today-” He lets out a shaky laugh. “Today, he suddenly wants to talk? He wants to acknowledge me, and I don’t care what he has to say to me. Why should I, Jos?”

She doesn’t say anything, she just rubs his shoulder comfortingly. After a moment, she opens her mouth unsure how respond. “I don’t know, Chuck,” Josie says simply, “but maybe you should hear him out.” He looks at her with a look of disbelief on his face. “Look, I’m not saying you have to like what he says, I never like what my dad says half the time, but any kind of communication is better than none. Or so I’ve heard.” She mumbles the last part.

“Is it, though?” He says quietly. “I didn’t tell you this… but I saw my mom last week.”

“What happened?” She asks softly, when she sees the sad look on his face, her heart breaks. She had never seen anyone looks so sad before, she had never seen _him_ look so sad before. Chuck was a big guy, but in that moment, he looked like a small child, and Josie just wanted to make sadness he felt disappear.

“Uh… she came to get her… uh stuff.” Chuck pauses, his hands starting to shake at the memory, he takes a breath before he continues. “I don’t think she was expecting to see me because when she did, she stopped moving and she just stared at me, like she was memorizing my face or something… and she uh.” A tear rolled down his cheek. Josie scooted closer and she grabbed his hand lacing their fingers together before squeezing his hand, urging him to continue.

“She started to cry, and she dropped her bags. She walked towards me she grabbed my face and rubbed her thumbs over my cheeks. She hugged me tightly and I hugged her back as tightly as I could without crushing her, and she said sorry before she walked out the door. I just stood there staring at the door. I don’t know when I’ll see her again, Jos.” He says the last part quietly. His body starts to shake, and he’s gasping for air, as he sobs. Josie turned her body towards him and pulled him in for a hug, not letting go of his hand, and Chuck sobbed into her shoulder.

“Chuck,” Josie says softly as she slowly pushed his head off her shoulder and caressed his cheek, running her thumb over it. “She might be leaving her marriage, but she’s not leaving you.”

When he looks at her, the look in his eyes makes her heart ache, and when he speaks it snaps in two. “Then why does why does it feel like it?” His voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper. “That day I saw her felt like a goodbye, not a see you soon.”

Looking into the eyes of a heartbroken boy whose tears coat her hand, she’s at a loss. She doesn’t know how to respond, nothing she could think of sounded right in her mind. She couldn’t promise him everything would be okay or that he’d see his mother again because she didn’t know that those things were true. She could say them, but she’s not sure what good they would do, they could just serve to upset him more. So, Josie does the thing that seems the least catastrophic. She drops her hand from his cheek, places it on top of their laced fingers, and rubs small circles into the skin of his strong hands. He doesn’t say anything, just scoots closer to her and rests his head on her shoulder. The tears are still falling, and he’s sure they’re soaking through the fabric of her top, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

For a while they just sit there like that, saying nothing. By this point lunch has long since ended and they’ve been sitting there well into their next class. The silence isn’t awkward, it’s comfortable and warm, despite the chill the early October brings.

After a long while Chuck lifts his head from her shoulder and looks at her with red rimmed eyes before quietly saying, “Thanks…. For letting me cry and not laughing or judging me.”

Josie smiles and he returns it. “Why would I do that?”

“Because boys don’t usually cry, let alone in front of people.”

“Have you forgotten that I’ve seen you cry before?” She asks with a hint of amusement in her tone. “You’re allowed to cry when you feel sad or angry or even happy, Chuck, as hard as it is to believe, boys are humans with feelings.” She says seriously.

“Tell that to my friends.” He says with a dry laugh, realizing he doesn’t actually have many friends anymore.

“Boys and their fragile masculinity.” She shakes her head with a chuckle. When she glances back over at him, Chuck is staring at her intently with a look she can’t quiet place. “What?” She asks, a slightly amused tone in her voice.

“I-” _like you_ is what he means to say, the confession on the tip of his tongue, but the words refuse to the leave his mouth. What if she doesn’t like him that way or worse… what if she only tells him she likes him too, so she doesn’t hurt him? Those are the reasons at the forefront of his mind when tries to think of reason why tell her is a bad idea. The optimist in him is screaming _what if she does like you_ and he wants to listen to that voice, but the still refuse to fall from his lips.

He does something that doesn’t require words, he kisses her.

Well, he leans in and pauses when he’s close enough to her face that he can hear her breathing as much as he can feel it. There’s an unsure look in his eyes as they flit down to her lips and back up to her eyes. When she doesn’t show any signs of wanting to pushing him away, he closes the gap between their lips. Her lips are soft, and they taste like kiwis.

He imagined kissing her a million times, but none of the scenarios that played out in his head ever included his parental drama, dried tears, and the slight headache that always came with crying. He also hoped that maybe he’d have told her how he feels and maybe she’d feel the same way, but daydreams never match up reality.

The kiss doesn’t last very long before he’s pulling away, realizing what he’s just done. When he pulls back, her eyes are closed, and she doesn’t look disgusted so that puts his mind at ease. It isn’t until Reggie’s face flashes into his mind that he starts to feel guilty, and before he knows what he’s doing he’s running. Away from the football field. Away from Josie. Away from the guilt.  
\----  
Chuck is putting his books in his locker and getting ready to head practice when Reggie approaches him with a rather annoyed expression etched on his face.

“Bro, I thought you weren’t going go for Josie.” Reggie says, a hint of anger in his tone. “I thought that we both agreed that we weren’t going to date her.”

“I didn’t agree to that, and I thought you weren’t talking to me.” Chuck says as he closes his locker. “And what are you talking about?”

_Does he know about the kiss? How would he know? He can’t know… but why the hell else would he confront you about Josie? There’s no other reason. He knows._

“Then why did you go to Pop’s together and why has she been to your house almost every night this week?”

“That wasn’t a date, and how do you even know that?” Chuck questions.

“I overheard her telling Valerie in the music room,” Reggie says, the pauses before asking “What was it then, because everyone knows that Chuck Clayton doesn’t just _hang out_ with girls. Chuck Clayton ruins reputations without remorse, so what were you doing with Josie because I don’t think you know how to just hang out with a girl.”

“I’m not like that anymore. You should know that better than anyone else. I’ve changed, I’m not that guy anymore, and I haven’t been for a while now.” He says, his voice starting rise in anger. “Would you just drop it, Reg?”

“Then why else are you two always together?” Reggie asks, ignoring Chuck. Chuck doesn’t say anything, he just starts to walk faster, but Reggie grabs his arm and pulls him to a halt. “Why did she follow you out of the cafeteria after your big tantrum, huh, Clayton?”

Chuck doesn’t answer, he yanks his arm from Reggie’s grip and continues in the direction of the locker room. He doesn’t want to face Reggie right now, not when he’s angry at him for abandoning him and also feeling guilty about kissing Josie.

“You’ll ruin her reputation like you did to all those other girls,” Chuck comes to a sudden halt. Even though he knows those words aren’t true, he’d never do that to Josie, they hurt especially coming from the lips of his former best friend. “She’ll end up just one of those girls that the guys on the team talk crap about in the locker rooms after practice.”

Chuck turn around, tears stinging his eyes as tries to hold them in. He stares at Reggie for a moment before saying, “We’re not together. We’re friends.”

 _Maybe not after that kiss,_ he reminds himself.

“Bullshit, Clayton, you don’t know how to be a friend. Let alone a friend to a girl, so what are you really doing, huh, because it sure as hell isn’t being her ‘friend’.” Reggie says dryly.

“What do you wanna hear, huh?” Chuck doesn’t know what comes over him, but he starts yelling. “That my parent’s marriage is crashing and burning? That I got drunk and cried in Pickens Park after I watched my mom leave, and called Josie to pick me up? That I asked her to take me to Pop’s because I didn’t want to go home? That I cried, and she comforted me? Or that I’ve barely spoken two words to my dad since my mom left? Is that what you wanted to hear, huh, Reg? Because that’s the truth.” He doesn’t know when the tears finally started to flow, but he’s crying, and suddenly he’s being pulled into a tight hug by his former best friend.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Reggie says as Chuck sobs onto the shoulder of his letterman.

“I can’t exactly talk to someone who’s ignoring me.” Chuck says as he pulls away from the hug.

“I’m sorry, bro, I didn’t know.” He pulls him back into the hug, patting his back comfortingly. “I’m so sorry.”

 

 

Chuck and Reggie sat on the ground leaned against the lockers, football practice forgotten, as Chuck recounted the situation with his parents. He’d stop sobbing, but the tears were still rolling down his cheeks as he finished. Reggie didn’t say a word while he talked, only nodding occasionally so Chuck knew he was still listening. When Reggie did finally speak, what he said shocked Chuck.

“I think you should talk to your dad, bro.” He said as he turned his head away from Chuck. “He sounds like he’s maybe trying to fix things. My dad would never do that, all he ever does is tell me what a disappointment I am. Nothing I do I makes him proud.” He sighed. “The last time I tried to get him to be even a little bit proud of me it ended with my drunken father hitting on Josie and then telling her that I’m ‘mediocre’ and I only disappoint.”

“What?” Chuck looked over at him, his shock clearly written on his face.

“I got the Pussycats to perform at my dad’s dealership opening and when they were done performing my dad walked over to us and started making inappropriate advances towards her. He was also telling her that he doesn’t think I’m good enough for someone like her.” He paused for a moment, exhaling. “I told him that he was making an ass of himself and he got angry, told her she’ll only feel disappointment if she ever decided to give me a chance, and he walked away. I was so angry and embarrassed, but Josie… she was Josie and it didn’t phase her. We went to Pop’s that night and just talked.”

“How come you never told me about your dad?” Chuck asked glancing over at Reggie.

“My dad thinking I’m a disappointment isn’t exactly something I wanna broadcast. I think he resents me.” Reggie said letting out a humorless laugh. “But I think you should talk to your dad. The relationship you have with him is something I wish I had with my dad.”

“I don’t think I can right now.” Chuck says shaking his head. “Not when he’s had so much time to say something, anything, to me. I just want things to go back to how they were before all the arguing. I want things to go back to normal.”

“I get that, Clayton, but your parent being separated is the new normal and you have to get used to that.” Reggie said as he rested his hand on Chuck’s shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “And talking to your dad and hearing what he has to say could help with that.”

“When did you get so wise, Mantle.” Chuck jokes.

“It comes with parental problems.” He says with a grin.

They were laughing and joking around like old times, practice and problems forgotten in wake of the confessions they shared on the ground of the halls of Riverdale High. Chuck didn’t know how long they’d stayed there, but he was glad to have his friend back.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm gonna deal with the kiss, i'm not the riverdale writers who bring things up just to abandon them two seconds later.   
> also reggie's daddy issues are canon and it just fight so well into my version of these characters that i had to include it.


End file.
